Zadie

‘Did you enjoy that?’ she asked.
I was still panting. She was sitting on the edge of the bed naked, wrestling herself into her black strapless top.
‘What do you think?’ I said. ‘It was fantastic.’
She smiled.
‘Thanks for the compliment. You were fantastic too.’
I knew she didn’t mean it. She’d had to work extremely hard to get me where she wanted. She was very professional yet I didn’t get the feeling it was work to her. It was amazing how well-trained she was.
‘If you have any suggestions for improvement, I’d like to hear them.’
‘No. You’re very sweet and very pretty.’
‘Well, I’ll be off then,’ she said, once she was dressed. ‘Payment will go via the app. And don’t forget to write a review.’
‘Wait,’ I said. ‘Stay.’
‘Why?’ she asked.
‘I heard you’re a really good storyteller too.’
She laughed shyly.
‘People say that, yes, but I’m not entirely there yet.’
‘That’s not a problem,’ I said. ‘I’m simply curious.’
The truth was I was very lonely. I didn’t want to be alone that night, I wanted someone to talk to me.
She looked at her watch and lay back down next to me.
‘Alright. What story do you want?’
‘A story about a rabbit digging a hole.’
She didn’t seem surprised by my strange request and thought for a moment.

‘Once upon a time, there was a rabbit called John. He had always dreamed of building his own burrow. So he started digging in the ground. He worked hard and within a few hours he had dug a big burrow. He crawled into it and felt so safe. John was happy to finally have his own den!’

I laughed.
‘Why are you laughing?’ she asked.
‘You’re right,’ I said, ‘you’re not entirely there yet.’
‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘I’ll improve, I promise.’
‘No, my fault,’ I said. ‘I was only teasing you. You can never turn a rabbit digging a hole into a good story. Tell me something else, a story about people. I love a bit of drama.’
‘What about?’
‘Hmm… about a man who is totally exhausted after a divorce and has insomnia.’
Again she thought for a moment.

‘John’s marriage had been good. He and his wife had always loved each other and together they’d been through a lot. However, a few months ago, they decided to break up and John felt deeply saddened by this. It was a difficult time, but he finally felt he could think about the future again. But after a few days, he found that he could no longer sleep. He was very tired, but he just couldn’t get to sleep. John tried everything from herbs to sleeping pills, but his insomnia persisted. Eventually, he began to understand that emotional fatigue had affected him more than expected. John knew he had to get through it and so he began the difficult task of improving his emotional health.’

She looked at me. I said nothing. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
‘What did you think?’
‘Good,’ I said. ‘Really good. It’s not Hemingway but I enjoyed listening to you. You have a lovely voice, you know.’
Her voice was like a gentle wind rustling through the trees.
‘Thanks for the compliment,’ she said, ‘if you have any suggested improvements, I’d love to hear them.’
She looked at her watch and got up.
‘I have to go,’ she said.
‘Stay,’ I said, ‘stay the night and tell me more.’
She remained standing and thought for a moment.
‘That’s possible,’ she said, ‘There’s a discount rate for a full night.’
‘And every night? What if you came every night?’
‘If you want to use me on a long-term basis, there’s also a lease package. The Pleasure Lease is an all-inclusive deal. You won’t have to worry about anything once the contract expires either. If you decide to keep me after the contractual 1,001 nights, you only pay the residual value, but you can also pick out a new model.’

Every night, at eight o'clock, she knocked on my door. We had a drink, we had sex and she told stories about rabbits who flew to other planets and fell in love with aliens, about mad scientists who crossed humans with llamas, about bats who longed for a life in daylight, about soldiers in the trenches who saw a vision of their beloveds just before they died. It was all clichéd, a hotchpotch of themes and styles. The rabbits and aliens lived happily ever after, the mad scientists felt guilty about their terrible experiments, the bats realised that it was their destiny to live by night, and the soldiers’ loved ones understood that their deaths had not been in vain and that their memories would live on forever. But I loved it. Night after night, Zadie told me her generic stories. Sometimes I fell asleep immediately, sometimes she had to keep talking until early morning. With each story, the hole in my heart gradually filled a little more.
At seven in the morning, I’d hear her shut the door behind her. All day, I could think of nothing but her arrival that evening. I longed for her voice, for her random concoctions. I was continually amazed by how she turned the seemingly contradictory elements I gave her into a coherent whole, with a beginning, a middle and an end. My pain and loneliness were not meaningless but part of a bigger story.

Months went by. Her stories began to get less interesting to me. By now I knew the structures, the themes, the clichés. Sometime after the five hundredth night I’d had my fill.
‘Hello, here I am again,’ she said, as I opened the door and she hugged me.
‘Would you like a cup of tea?’ I asked, ‘we need to talk.’
I told her I greatly appreciated what she’d done for me. How tenderly and kindly she’d treated me, even in my most difficult moments. How her stories had been a lifeline. But now I had regained my strength and it was time for us to go our separate ways.
At this, she paused to think again.
‘Are you sure? If you have any suggested improvements, I’d love to hear them.’
‘No, it’s not you, it’s all me. Don’t feel guilty.’
Maybe I was imagining it, but a sad look appeared in her eyes.
‘You know I can be improved,’ she said, ‘I’m an ongoing project.’
‘I know that,’ I said, ‘I know, but as I said, it has nothing to do with you. And as for the lease, I’ll pay what’s left of it. The important thing is that I can stand on my own two feet again, and for that I am eternally grateful to you. Just so you know.’
She smiled.
‘Thank you for the compliment. I am eternally grateful to you too,’ she said, ‘and I am very happy that you have regained your strength!’
She got into her Tesla and shot off.